dec 2, 2005

The Origin of Thomas and Erica, aka Thomarica

I remember the first time I saw Erica here at work.  She was doing her homework and David was helping her.  I thought she was really pretty.  Of course, due to my low self esteem from my past, I thought I had no chance.  If there was anyone I could date in the office at the time, it would be her, but I didn't know her, so I was basing everything off of looks.  A couple of months went by, and we never spoke.  Irene started to talk to me because she somewhat liked me, and Little Joe was beginning to like Erica.  As all guys do, I teased Erica all the time and called her lesbian.  Why, I don't know.  Then Joe threw one of his parties.  I talked to Erica a little bit.  A birthday came a few days later and Irene made a cake.  It was delicious... I just felt like I needed to add that in.  Joe, Erica, Irene, and I started to hang out more.  I was trying to hook up Joe with Erica, because Joe deserves a nice girl.  If anyone in my life deserved an awesome (yes, I said it) gril, it would be Joe.  He's perhaps the nicest guy I've ever met.  At the time, I made a promise to myself and the world... to not date anyone for the summer.  It would be the summer of Thomas.  I wanted to hang out with Sylvia and just enjoy life as it was handed to me day to day.  Also, I spent the whole semester somewhat liking these two girls, who I don't think liked me... at least until I made my new pledge.  What is it about girls that when you ignore them, they like you more?!  Eventually, Erica told Joe that she wanted to only be friends with him, and I felt the same way with Irene.  Little did we know that we liked each other.  Joe went back home, and Erica and I would spend up to 6 hours on the phone each night.  We found out that we liked each other, but that put us in a little situation.  We didn't want to hurt our friends.  So we postponed our relationship.  Day after day, David kept asking if we had made out yet, and he tried to scare me by saying Joe was going to shoot me (don't worry, he didn't).  One day as I was leaving to go take a physical, Erica walked with me and kissed me.  Just because she kissed me first, it doesn't make me any less of a man.  Usually, I need to talk to a girl for exactly one year, and then we hook  up, but not this time.  Thank you Axe Body Spray.

may 8, 2006

to the one I love

The greatest part of my day is when I wake up in the morning and I see you lying there.  You open up your eyes and then it hits me like a twenty foot wave... I'm lucky to be the one who sees you wake up.

That is what I would say to my wife, the love of my life, but since I'm not married, this is the route I must go...

The greatest part of my day is when I wake up and go to the bathroom.  I look in the mirror and see myself and think, man, I'm still me.  Nothing happened to my face... I'm so lucky.

oct 10, 2006

Blog, dog, fog, hog, jog, egg nog, clog, log, oysters... damn i lost

when you go and pay for something and you have exactly the right amount of change in your pocket for said purchase... well, no matter what happens on that day, it's a good day.  Only so often will the fates give you this honor.  A blue moon happens every so often, as does this moment.  Anyone with talent can win a title, but only the one who has luck can recieve this prestige.  Thank you coin fate for those rare perfect days.

I have begun my attempt to bring the almighty sweater vest back for some time now.  It's been a struggle to take the image away from mid 90s cholos (if that's how you spell it).  Hopefully this fight will be won, if not in my generation, then perhaps for my children's generation.  Only God knows.

If I had superpowers, I would not want to be a superhero.  Knowing myself, I would probably turn evil.  and that saddens me... just a little bit.

I feel bad for the platypus.  He is several creatures in one.  Not even cool animals.  If it was say, a dolphin and a cheetah, that would be cool.  I would give mad props to that.  But it's a duck and beaver.  Yes, there is potential for it to be cool, but then it got the name of platypus.  You know damn well the rest of the animal kingdom is going around calling them "platypus-sy."  Come on you guys, get off their case.  I wonder if -pus means beaver.  That's a strange coincidence if it doesn't.  Hang in there platypi, someday you will rise, till then, you are in my heart.

The following shows should be brought back:  Doug, Ren and Stimpy, Silver Hawks, The original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Alf (but not in pog form), and Dawson's Creek.  Yes, the creek, deal with it.

Does anyone know where to buy pogs anymore?  I could go for a good game of that right now.  I think I still have mine.  You and I should play, but no use of poison or bombs.  And damn you if you use those slammers that dent the pogs.  What's the point of winning them if you're just going to destroy the prize?

This week crickets have made it on my bad side.  Keep it down you guys, other people live here too.  Also, on my bad side this week:  People with really deep voices that scare me, Chuck Norris who is definately no Bruce Lee, people who don't like me because I'm too lovable (yeah, believe it, it happens), people who don't like me because I'm not lovable enough (take that mom),  people who repeat things, the ice cream man that doesn't stop, people who give me pesos (what am I going to do with a peso... throw it?), people who repeat things, the color lavinder, the dove company, Fructise Shampoo for getting in my eye, my left hand for letting the shampoo get in my eyes (come on, be responsible), and finally, people who repeat things (can't stand it).

Beastie Boys come back and rock the crap out of America.  I watched Blue's Clues the other day... damn that's an easy show to win at.  Atlantic ocean.

Which ocean is the coolest?  In this writer's eyes, shines the Pacific Ocean.  It's the largest of the oceans and contains Hawaii.  It spands from Cali to Vietnam.  The Atlantic does come in a close second, and yes, I did mention it right now, but further thought has brought me back to the Pacific.  There is much intrigue.  As for the other two oceans, they are but a joke to the power of the pacific.  I give the Pacific Ocean 2 kudos for this week, which brings it's total to exactly... 2 kudos.  Congrats.

Next time:  I shall go further into the brain of yours truely and explore the deeper thoughts.  Discussions of Super hero movies, cheese and which one rules them all, the human lung, and whatever I saw on TV.

feb. 17, 2007

Help! I need somebody. Help! Not just anybody!

My biggest fear is that a squirrel will get into my apartment. How would I get her out? How do I know it'll be a her... because the ladies can't keep away. But seriously, would I use a cup to catch it? They are pretty fast, I don't think I could keep up. I do have a box... what I would like to do is attach a string to the box and get a stick, so when the squirrel goes near the box, I would pull the string and catch her in the box. But what would be the next step. I'd be left with a squirrel in an upside down box... well done, I accomplished pissing off a squirrel. The second she would get out of the upside down box, she would go for my jugular. What would you do in the situation, because I don't know. Why do I bring this up... well, I just want to be prepared for anything. God help me if a duck gets in here... I'm never going to open my doors again. Happy Black history month everyone.

Jul 30, 2007

i'm dying...

i just ate a cookie and my tummy (whom i call tommy) hurts. i may be dying, to which i ask whomever reads this.... avenge my death. make nestles toll house suffer as i did. to thou whom gets revenge... i will leave you my marble collection. it is vast and not so much valuable. it is beautiful, just like my eyes. and when you look upon them, remember me for the person i was before the tommy ache. a brave young man with charm oozing out the ears, and a wit that could... outwit... stuff. i love you mom. i love you dad. damn you nestles... damn you for taking away the life of an up and coming star. shine young thomas... shine brighter than the brightest star in the sky. funny, the brightest stars in the sky are the ones that are about to die out.


it was a pretty good cookie though.

Feb. 6, 2008

i shaved my hair off last night and soon i will begin the lemonade detox. It will be a crazy journey, and i will keep track of it all for all you kids out there. It's suppose to last for 10 days, i predict i will last for 4.
i drove down to el paso this past weekend and we played football. it's been 3 days and i'm sore still.
i've been bothered by thoughts: if a poisonous snake bit its tongue, what would happen? cats and dogs can be allergic to people, so can people be allergic to people? People with extra toes... can they run faster or slower than others? People with an extra finger or missing a finger... can they flip off others?
i got the new macbook air and it is awesome.
if i got laser eye surgery, the first person i'd shoot with my laser eyes... ryan seacrest.
LOST is back and is on my awesome list.
for halloween i want to be han solo in carbonite, i just need someone to push the trolley around. i would prefer that person to dress up as boba fett, but we can discuss it further.
i would hate to be stuck in quick sand, maybe it's just me but that would suck.
peace be with you. and also with you.

Mar 7, 2008

i've been getting really sick lately... i'm pretty sure i'm dying. i love you all, except for 3 of you in my friends list. i'll let you guess which ones. if i should happen to survive, i'm coming after you diseases... and this time, it's personal.


UPDATE: June 1, 2011-- I did not die everyone, and I forgot all about going after diseases.  I'm back on it though!